Thursday, April 15, 2010

the morning after

So, here is my initial rough concept. It is bare bones and as such i will update over the next week. Keen for critical feedback. I don't actually know how it ends, or what the discussions are going to be about at this stage.

TIME: 11:00am the morning after

A young guy with faded face paint lies awake in a double bed. The sheets next to him have been pulled aside as though someone has left the room. The room is minimal. Sun is pushing through the windows and conversation can be heard outside. He lies there alone scanning the room with his eyes. He stares at the only poster on the wall. It is the Andy Warhol banana. He rolls over on his chest and exhales heavily.

Cut to black and white super 8 montage. Vaseline on lens. All shot as POV. Walking through a party. Looking at himself in the mirror. Standing in a corner looking at shoes and up to a crowd. Hand holding 2 tabs. Street lights, girls head enters frame. Girl talking to camera. Girl leads guy inside. Girl lying naked on bed looking confused. Playing scrabble.

The guy rolls back onto his back. He looks toward the door. Outside the conversation continues. The guy in the bed listens. He starts masturbating. He stops, frustrated.

A girl’s voice joins the conversation outside. Their voices go really soft. It is hard to make out what they are saying. They all laugh. They talk about the mess outside and soon the male voices say goodbye and they can be heard leaving. Silence.

The guy in the room sits up in bed. He looks unhappy and confused. He scrambles for his shirt on the floor and begins to pull it on. There is a knock at the window. He freezes. There is another knock. He shuffles across the bed and pulls the curtain aside. There is a girl on the other side. She is smoking a cigarette. He talks to her through the glass.


  1. I like it. very visual writing.
    Will there be music in the super 8 footage?
    I'm not sure about him masturbating though.

    I don't think it needs a really strong ending. I think it would be good if you left it open-ended and without an actual ending- because this man's story will continue well beyond the credits roll.

  2. love the world. it feel to me like a strange coming of age story. for some reason i see the boy as early teens (keep the masturbating scene - this could be shot quite innocently)and has met and some older educated woman. Goddard at his most earnest and in beautiful black and white. just ideas Derry. we love autobus.

  3. I agree with wheels that it is a good world. It feels very personal.
    I picture him in his early twenties.

    Masturbating with voices outside. Great.
    POV sequence. Great.
    I think to tie it together you could make the woman who knocks on the window also feature in the party montage. Make her a focus for him. That's what is on his mind but his memory and his lust is fragmented, confused.
    For him, she is the epitomy of his acid beauty and his morning after wretchedness.

    Just delving.

  4. I'm also feeling this "coming of age" vibe and I think the younger the boy, the better. But somehow I don't see the POV in black and white. I understand the need to create a unique perspective but are you avoiding the colour because it's been done before with drug trips? I'd be interested in brainstorming different methods with you.

  5. i want to shoot on super 8 and i need a high asa. colour reversal stock only rates to 64asa. i can get b&w up to 200. 200 will probably still not be enough but it's the best i can do. i can get some negative kodak vision2 500T but it will be pricey to develop, process and telecine.

    the black and white feels right in any case. more like a hazy memory. or a dream. what are you thinking? if it's not super 8, it has to be something pretty special.

    thanks al. the girl in the montage is the same girl at the window. right on.

  6. Derry it's a cool story.

    My thoughts are:
    it'd be interesting if he was masturbating and didn't realise there was a crack in the curtain and the girl was watching or something.

    Go for the fastest stock you can afford and see if people will push process it for you cheaply.

    Then you can shoot it under and pull the grain out.
    Never done that myself though.

  7. your talking about some serious grain there ben. not really my style.