Guys are sitting around outside at the party. bored. stoned.
one of them comes up with a game: Hide the shit.
They all 'shotgun not' to play, but the last person to say 'shotgun not' has no choice.
So he goes into the kitchen, trying to act nonchalant. there are three people in the kitchen- one standing around, looking lost, and a guy and a girl leaning against the kitchen bench holding each other. he gets out the butter contatainer from the fridge and discretetly opens the microwave and puts it in. he sets the timer and stands there awkwardly next to the couple at the bench. he tries to make small talk- 'how bout this party huh?' They give him nothing.
The microwave beeps and he quickly opens it. he takes it out and hurries outside back to the guys. they ask him if he did it yet. he tells them that he can't shit- there's noting there. but they force him to man up and go behind a tree.
He does it. We stay with the group listening to him trying to shit. they're in hysterics. eventually he comes back. he pretend to tip the container on one of the guys. they tell him to put it back in the fridge.
He goes back inside with the container, smiles innocently at the couple at the bench- who give him a confused look- and puts it in the fridge. he slowly walks outside- laughing, and almost tip-toeing.
3 ways the ending could go- would appreciate feedback to decide
1. a drunk guy comes into the kitchen. He says to the couple at the bench "man, i'm fuckin' hungry! you guys want some toast?"
2. The screen fades to black before the drunk guy comes in.
3. It's now morning. a guy hung over goes to the fridge and gets the butter for his toast. he begins to spread it on. As the knife goes deeper into the container, an unusual BROWN is revealed. The guy looks curious.
once again a great vehicle for a story but it goes exactly the way we expect from the outset. the openiong is great. the rock off. the kitchen. the awkward conversation. the butter in the microwave. it's good. make something else happen from there. maybe someone takes him out the back with the butter. anything but actually shitting in the butter. call the game something else and we never know what he was going to do with the butter. might be interesting. maybe. i dunno.
ReplyDeletePerhaps when he goes behind the tree they think he's trying to shit but it gets revealed that he's actually using the butter to polish his blue-veined flute? The hysterical crowd falls silent.
ReplyDeleteThe 'nuttela' ending with butter in microwave is a bit glib and tropfestie. I think there needs to be more personal drama with this guy. Who is he and what is a real challenge he can face? I agree with derry that his interaction with other party strangers is an interesting direction you could take it in.